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“No ice, please,” she says as she hands the glass back to the waiter. “Can you imagine? He wanted to remove the granite counter tops and use it as their headstones! How morbid! Something sentimental and absurd I am sure. No curb appeal, no closets, and now no granite in the kitchen? No, no, no… Thank goodness I was able to talk their children out of it? Can you just imagine?”

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