Tags
BBW, creative, fiction, flash, love, microfiction, poem, poetry, relationships, writing
i.
Until I was 34, I spent my whole life away from my favorite person.
At 25, I summoned him.
At 20, I pretended he didn’t exist.
At 15, I pressed pillows between my legs fervently praying he was real.
Now, at 34, I have found him. And, he is bound by the baggage of other women.
ii.
i know he writes about me.
at least, i know he writes about the me he created.
i love the songs he sings for me.
though, i hear only stories of old friends who’ve become strangers.
i know he remembers and honors…
my capability, my hair’s smell, my sensuous crooked lips…
i typed “our” stories for him.
iii.
i know he will never write of me.
he still swoons for her– his distant beatrice, his too close for comfort blanche.
he will never find the icons to paint me.
yes, paint…
because, foolish boys, summoned or not, can never sculpt these round lines.
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/01/06/daily-prompt-favorite-person/
Often, I find myself needing to think over your work. To take in the words and mull them over in my mind. This is one of those pieces. At first blush, I’m truly not sure what I think of it. Or, maybe, it’s more a case of it invoking too many thoughts for me, so that I can’t put them into any coherent form.
I love the strength of it. And I like the way the thoughts sort of meander around, seemingly heading in one direction only to turn back in on themselves so that, perhaps, the person they belong to eventually finds herself or himself right back where they started.
At any rate, this one makes me think. And I like that most of all.
as always, thank you for such insightful and kind feedback.
This is lovely. Sad and true. Do you live in Virginia? I’m in Charlottesville.
thank you! i am also in charlottesville. howdy, neighbor.
Absolutely gorgeous. You really nailed this one.
thank you so much for stopping by and commenting.
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thank you for the mention!
I love this!!!
i am glad!
there are some poems I read and wish I could be so elegant. This is one. Thanks for sharing it.
aww thank you. I try my best.
This one jolted my heart and soul, it made me think, reflect, feel. You have written this so wonderfully! Lovely, it is
thank you so much!
I liked this very much because it was so completely self-absorbed, so selfish and narcissistic Yet, you could feel the loneliness emanating through it. It’s as though the author knows she is this way, yet she does not care. In fact, she might even enjoy it up to a point. It’s like the joy one gets from biting one’s own lips… even though they are bleeding and not very attractive, yet you know that a certain person may be attracted to just that… very nicely done.
wow. what a great insight. I had not thought of that angle until I read your feedback. thank you!
a ‘chapter’ skillfully ‘twigged’ into each stanza; a whole novel in the shape of a healthy shrub, in winter … very nice
I love the way you expressed your feedback. very nice read. thanks.
This is genious.. *_* i loved it.
Hey, Veronica. I really like this poem. My favorite line is “he is bound by the baggage of other women.” And I love the image you paint of a man–or men–who could never truly sculpt the round lines of your body. At least I interpreted that way. It’s so visually vivid, but it goes beyond the visual. I think you spoke so honestly that you reminded me of people I’ve known, and of myself. Thanks for sharing so openly.
what a beautiful share! thank you!
Very cool & quite beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
thank you for sharing your sweet words.
Ok. I’ve read your poem again. I love how you use the word “summon”. Very powerful. I think I should really say more sweet words, but I’ll write this instead: I’m going to re-read it again.
you are awesome. thank you!
I was drawn in by the wordless feline, admired the tribute to Mssr. Stardust, and saw old scars on my heart exposed on this page. So it is from here I shall Follow. Thank you for visiting my blog, otherwise I might never had the chance to envy your incredible talent.
wow! what an amazing thing to share with me. thank you!
As always, your kicker (“yes, paint…/because, foolish boys, summoned or not, can never sculpt these round lines.”) makes me swoon. It neatly and completely laces together each poetic chapter into a single piece praising the follies of fawning over he-that-would-be. I adore a solid paradox because of how keenly they echo reality. Thank you for letting me close my night here with your wonderful words once more.
thank you so much for your messages.